When Life Unravels...

Hey friends! I hope you had a peaceful and restful Christmas. I spent so much time napping, watching festive movies and eating all of my favorite foods—the best! And now—we are fully into a New Year full of promise and expectation. But first, I wanted to take some time to fill you in on what's been going on behind the scenes here over the last few months.

As you may know the last two years have been focused on buying our house and renovating it in various stages—some of which were easier than others. This in many ways has been a dream come true, and I am so thankful for the home that we have had the privilege of creating. However, the truth is that I was totally unprepared for the amount of stress this process would involve, and it has taken its toll on me in the form of anxiety.

During the latter part of 2017 as all the projects were getting closer to being "finished", I was experiencing more and more anxiety. Which, quite frankly, didn't make sense. Surely I should feel less anxious with a finish date on the horizon? I was also finding it incredibly difficult to carry out simple tasks that I wouldn't have really thought twice about before—like deciding what to cook for dinner or folding a load of laundry. And more complex projects just felt impossible to me and totally soul crushing. In addition to this, I wasn't able to be fully present with my husband and girls, and they were definitely not getting the best version of me.

What I've realized the hard way is that without having healthy rhythms and boundaries in place, life will eventually unravel. The renovation was simply a catalyst, not the cause.

And so I found myself unable to enjoy life—constantly fretting about anything and everything and numbing myself with food, Netflix and mindless scrolling on my phone.

But the beauty of an undoing is that you get to rebuild in the way that you choose. And so I started to think very carefully about how I could get healthier, one step at a time.

Without a doubt, I knew that the first thing that had to change was my phone habit addiction.

I have been wanting to cut my phone usage down for at least a year, without much success. I was becoming increasingly aware that most of the time that I was spending on my phone left me feeling discontent, restless, and anxious. I finally decided the only way to deal with the problem was by going cold turkey, so the Saturday before Christmas I turned my phone into my husband, who hid it away and checked it on my behalf now and again.

There was suddenly no social media, no googling, no scrolling.

And there was immediately an increase of time, space, and rest in my life. I napped, which was truly a Christmas miracle. I read books to my kids, and watched movies with them. I found it easier to fall asleep at night.

With this additional margin in my day, I was finally able to think and began to have some clarity and vision for the months ahead.

  • I started reading Garden City: Work, Rest, and the Art of Being Human by John Mark Comer which I am finding so inspiring and helpful in working out my purpose in all of the day to day stuff (which really is the vast majority of our lives).

  • A good friend told me that she was doing the Homesong Rest Retreat and I thought that it would be a perfect timing for me to join in on. It's a month long break from social media with blog posts to guide you through a reset of your life rhythms. I am thoroughly enjoying it and have found it immensely valuable so far.

  • I've had a good hard look at our weekly family routine, and how we spend our days. I'm discovering how to get the stuff done whilst also having time to actually enjoy life (this is apparently a totally achievable goal!) I'll go into more detail on all of this in a future post, and when I have had a chance to test run some of my new ideas—I definitely haven't got it all figured out, but I believe that I'm on the right path at last.

  • I've started running again a couple of mornings a week with one of my friends. This truly is so good for my body and mind and it feels so good to be up and moving before my kids have even stirred.

  • Next week is going to be a tough one, as I have decided to start the Whole30. It's actually something that I've done a couple of times before, but I didn't really allow it to change my relationship with food. It was more something that I wanted to say that I'd managed to get through, but I didn't use the experience to figure out what is good for my body and how different foods affect me. I'm ready to give it another try and I'm excited to get creative with new recipes!

And this blog? Well, it fell to the wayside as something had to give. I am realizing that the main reason I have been unable to find time to blog is because a lot of my time allocation has been given to Instagram, and that was not leaving me any room to write and create. Instagram is in so many ways an amazing resource and platform, and I have met a ton of inspiring and talented people on there. However, if you don't have a healthy mindset, it is so easy to get sucked into the comparison game.

So, for the time being, this blog will be my priority. I will still pop onto Instagram, but for the most part, social media and I need to be on a break for a little bit longer. I hope to post more regularly here, and to share authentically about what is working in my life as I embark on this new wellness journey.

Because I truly believe that creating a home is so much more than renovating and decorating. That really is just the start of it.

Creating a home is what we choose to keep and what we choose to let go of, and how we organize our possessions to best serve the people in our home.

It is the meals we eat and how we prepare them, and who sits at our table with us.

It is reading yet another story to our children and giving them a safe place to explore and learn.

It is the place where our hearts can rest, and our lives can flourish and grow.

So I hope that you will come along for the journey and join me in pursuing all that 2018 has for us. I'm excited to see how things will unfold and I am so ready to be healthier than ever before, and enjoy this beautiful life to the full!